That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Randomize
