you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
