So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
