Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
The Olympian is in my bed
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
