what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
