I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
