Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
