Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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