I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
