You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize