U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
