he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
