i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
