Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
