I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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