My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
be right there i have to get my cape
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
