Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
