she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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