you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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