I got chris browned last night
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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