Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
