I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
