i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I am available for nakedness
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize