OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
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