Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
