I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
There's always time for handjobs
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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