i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
