so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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