My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
