maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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