9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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