he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
you had me at cake vodka
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
