I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
