She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He? As in you personified your dick?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
