You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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