you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Everclear isn't food dammit
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
