He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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