do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
