What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
