This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
