Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize