what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
