Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
The struggles of a small town man whore
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize