Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
