I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
