I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize