My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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