youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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