I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
