It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
