Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
it's great music for shaving your balls
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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