Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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