billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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