You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
