So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
