About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
