Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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